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Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise, and Other Bribes

A sweeping indictment of the carrot-and-stick approach to motivation, arguing that rewards—like punishments—fail to produce lasting change and actively undermine intrinsic motivation, quality, relationships, and the development of good values.

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What it’s about

Drawing on hundreds of psychological studies, Alfie Kohn dismantles the deeply held belief that the best way to get people to do something is to reward them when they comply. From gold stars and grades in classrooms, to incentive plans and merit pay in workplaces, to praise and bribes in the home, Kohn shows that 'Do this and you'll get that' rests on the shaky foundations of pop behaviorism and reliably backfires. Rewards, he argues, are not the opposite of punishments but two sides of the same controlling coin: both secure temporary compliance while corroding the conditions—collaboration, meaningful content, and genuine choice—under which excellence, learning, and ethical behavior actually flourish. Provocative yet rigorously documented, the book challenges readers to abandon the seductive simplicity of behavioral manipulation and rethink how we manage employees, teach students, and raise children, replacing control with respect, problem-solving, and support for intrinsic motivation.

The through-line

Who it’s for
A parent, teacher, or manager who wants the people they care for or lead to do good work, learn deeply, and become responsible, caring, and motivated.
The problem
The rewards, grades, incentive plans, and praise they rely on aren't producing lasting motivation, quality, or good behavior. They feel frustrated, even guilty, suspecting that the strategy they default to may be backfiring but not knowing what else to do.
The plan
  1. Recognize that rewards and punishments are two sides of the same controlling coin.
  2. Abolish or minimize incentives, grades, and manipulative praise.
  3. Shift focus from controlling behavior to addressing reasons and building relationships.
  4. Create the conditions for intrinsic motivation through collaboration, meaningful content, and genuine choice.
  5. Support autonomy and use problem-solving instead of bribes and threats.
The payoff
Employees, students, and children become intrinsically motivated, doing better, more creative work. · Relationships are characterized by trust, openness, and support rather than judgment and flattery. · Children grow into responsible, caring, self-directed people who make their own ethical decisions.

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